In 3 days I’ll be 32. Yesterday was Saturday and there was nothing extra ordinary about this weekend (or so I thought). It’s normal adulting – picking up my home, laundry, relaxing. Saturday was girls night with new friends and Sunday is a family dinner for my early-birthday celebration.
But this Saturday morning did have a little spark of beauty and an extraordinary moment. All because of a dress, a memory, and a reflection.
A few weekends ago, my mom dropped off an old prom dress from my senior year of high school. She was storing it for me, just in case there was an occasion I could wear it again (which hasn’t happened yet). Over the years, I honestly forgot she still had it – but there was something special about this dress. It was my favorite formal dress I had ever worn back in high school and it was for my senior year prom. She finally drops it off at my new home (since I have the closet space to store it myself now) and I am faced with the decision if I want to keep it longer or donate and pass it on. Do I want to keep it? Yes. The real question is if my body can afford it… meaning, does it still fit?
~ Now comes the beautiful, extraordinary moment ~
After a few minutes of carefully slipping into the dress and zipping it up by myself, then a little tug here, a sinch down, lift and straighten… it’s on! It was magical! I stand back from my mirror and take a moment to soak in what I’ve accomplished. I last wore this dress when I was 18 years old. Basically 14 years later, here I am wearing it again. Emotions flood in. Yes, I cried. I’ll be honest, at first, I was crying because of my age. It sounds ridiculous, trust me, I know. But it’s real and sometimes it catches me off guard. When I was 18 , last wearing this dress, did I think I would be almost 32 wearing it again and be where I’m at in life? NOPE! But is the almost-32 year old me looking back at 18 year old me and that 14 year time span with gratitude and unbelief that I’m standing here wearing the same dress? Heck Yeah! The crying lasted for a brief moment; however, the tears sparked an extraordinary moment that outlived each tear shed. Where a few tears lingered, there was a sprinkling of joy & beauty because of what I saw in my reflection. I saw a body that has had, and continues to have, its struggles – that’s changed from a gangly, young lady and through its yearly battles, has transformed into a more feminine, strong, confident, and beautiful (still young) woman. I love this body. I wouldn’t trade it for the world and wouldn’t wish to have the 18 year old me back. I also saw 14 years filled with grace and mercy, uncomfortable growth, a breaking down and building up of my spirit, and above all, a soul that is loved by God. I stood still looking at a glimpse of myself in this dress years ago and a spark of excitement was ignited for the years to come and thankfulness for where I’ve been and who I am in this current moment. I hear people say, “I wish I could go back”, “I want this back”, etc and I’ve said that plenty of times myself. But now I don’t wish that. I enjoy the moments of reflection on the past in order to learn from and move forward with a better view and intention for the path ahead of me.
Even on an ordinary Saturday moment, extraordinary moments can be had. Beauty can be seen in the simple, quiet spaces. For you friend, I hope you have plenty of these moments. I hope today, whatever day of the week it is when you read this, wherever you are, you have a moment where you find beauty and something special.
These moments are sprinkled throughout our lives quite often ~
you just need to seek them and live in them.
And when I look at the space between
Where I used to be and this reckoning
I know I will never be alone
There was another in the fire
Standing next to me
There was another in the waters
Holding back the seas…Hillsong UNITED